Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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