just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
