You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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