a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
