I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
