so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
