she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
