i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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