I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
