my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I intend to get homeless drunk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
