my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
