sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
