So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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