so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We have started to decorate penises.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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