I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
