Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
