Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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