I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
