no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
