I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
