Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she peed on how many people?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
