life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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