I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize