I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
someone owes me an orgasm
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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