Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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