Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
