no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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