belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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