I'm going to jail i love you
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
