Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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