I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
