He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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