i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
