He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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