I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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