At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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