She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
