i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
