This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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