I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
