am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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