We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
