So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
