Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
