I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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