Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
