I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
