if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
