I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
