Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
