I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize