WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
