Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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