My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
