thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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