Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
