you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
