Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i will never coherently bang her
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
