there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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