i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
