Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
