And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
