when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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