? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
