im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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