my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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