So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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