Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
wow bdsm is so cute
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
