They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
